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Structure in motherhood is important, but we also need flexibility; keep reading for the daily routine of a mom that is ideal!
In our society where busy is a badge of honor, it can add an unnecessary layer of stress and overwhelm. Even just calling the consistent acts in your life a “rhythm” feels liberating, doesn’t it? It’s soothing to feel like everything is working together. And for your benefit, as opposed to trying to cram this beautiful life into calendar appointments and checkboxes.
I think most of us want to accomplish the necessary tasks, but also be present and enjoy sweet moments with our kids.
When we have strict schedules and rigid routines, we are more focused on how many tasks we can accomplish, rather than whether or not they’re worth doing in the first place.
1. Schedules are too strict
The daily routine of a mom tends to be a plan for what needs to happen. At the specific TIME, and children don’t run like clockwork. Gross understatement of the century, amah right 😛
I think we’ve all had the delightful experience of trying to rush out the door with a toddler who insists on putting her shoes on, but becomes intensely frustrated in the process and dissolves into an inconsolable tantrum. Any efforts to resolve the issue are met with rage. You begin to reflect those feelings yourself, in addition to the frustration you already felt with being late and trying to get out the door!
The situation digresses quickly, and you both are late, frustrated, and quite possibly angry, too. What if you had fewer things scheduled so this recipe for disaster occurs less frequently?
When we try to schedule our days too tightly, the daily routine of a mom can lead to MORE frustration instead of alleviating it.
It can make all the tasks for the day feel like a chore. We may feel anxiety anticipating something that we want to happen at a specific time, only for it not to be possible. Children easily throw off a schedule. It can make you feel like a failure, and you wasted time and energy planning to do something that either doesn’t happen on time or maybe doesn’t happen at all.
Of course, there’s a time and a place for scheduling events at specific times, but whenever possible, ensure flexibility!
2. Routines are too rigid
Since routines are a specific sequence of actions that are regularly followed, they can feel too rigid.
In life with littles, the challenge of consistency can feel overwhelming. We don’t have the luxury of whipping through routines uninterrupted as mamas. It can be irritating when our kiddos mess with our routines. “Of course, you’re starving now; I was finally going to hop in the shower!”
When routines are deeply engrained in us, we feel compelled to do them. It’s a good thing when they are healthy routines. But when they feel urgent, it can add frustration to the daily routine of mom life.
The daily routines of a mom are lovely right up until we feel defeated because we were interrupted.
For example, if your mom friends are all miraculously available on Wednesday night for a mom’s night out, it will throw off the whole process. Why? Because that’s when you usually begin “batch processing” your laundry!
With a rhythm, it doesn’t have to start on a specific day, and you have more flexibility. Have fun with your friends! You can collect and sort your dirty laundry tomorrow 😉
Check out this post about “How to Clean Your House Fast” and make your everyday life a piece of cake!
FREE evening routine guide to set you up for success tomorrow!
3. Rhythms are just right!
What if you don’t have to choose? What if you could have the BENEFITS of schedules and routines without the downsides?
May I present RHYTHMS!
Instead of scheduling activities for a specific time, plan them for a general window of time. For example, we meet at Stroller Strong Moms to workout, which is at 9:30 am, a designated time, but after that, we may go to the Children’s Museum or Trampoline Park- the follow-up activities aren’t planned at a specific time.
We load up after working out, maybe mama needs to swing by a coffee shop for an extra coffee, or perhaps it’s a beautiful day, and we stop for a picnic snack. The flexibility is freeing! Striving to arrive at our next destination at a specific time, for the sake of it, is silly.
The daily routine of mom has a more flexible makeover, too. Instead of a specific series of events happening in order, they occur as it makes sense to do them. One of my favorite ways to make sure I didn’t forget anything is to create an acronym since I can’t rely on the order of events to know I’ve completed everything. For example, in the evening, I have a PEACE routine.
After our 2-year-old daughter goes to bed at 7:00 pm, I Pack everything for the next day, Empty the sink and counters, Assemble my outfit for the following day, do a Calendar and task review, and plan Enough sleep. These things rarely happen in this order, but they are all accomplished without frustration!
Rhythms are a fantastic way to incorporate habits, too!
Habits are our tendency to engage in an activity or not to participate in it. We can structure our rhythms to include positive habits that move our lives in the direction we want to go in.
Some examples of some rhythms I incorporate into my day: when I wake I do my morning ritual (so that I have a few minutes to myself before the kiddos wake), when the kiddos eat breakfast, I unload the dishwasher so that clean dishes put away and dirty dishes can go directly into the dishwasher, every time I eat, I wipe down the counter and do a quick vacuum with the stick Dyson, and every time I leave the house I start the Roomba.
There’s no right or wrong answer here, do whatever makes the most sense for you!
With rhythms, many tasks are accomplished but without the heaviness of thinking about it all the dang time My effort goes into DOING the tasks instead of THINKING about doing the tasks! It’s easy to become addicted to the habit of feeling busy.
Even if we doing like feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, it’s the devil we know, and change – even positive change – is scary. Shift your focus from the daily routines of mom and embrace rhythms instead!
This evening routine makes mom life SO much easier! Best of all, it’s FREE 🙂
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